episode recap:

mondo should have won and jessica simpson is looking rather... large.

my "home alone on a saturday night with nothing to do but catch up on the season finale of project runway" look

of course. it's a cozy night. maybe i'll start reading another book before bed. bri's blog post makes me want to pick up "house of leaves" again but that is a bad bad thing to read before attempting to sleep. i'm still uneasy about that book after all these months, and i never even came close to finishing it.

my long hair aspirations were momentarily halted by this photo of scarjo's new cut

oh! so perfect. i might want it... but i'll hold out for now. 

just finished!

I've been reading this nonstop since I received it in the mail and it's just perfect and moody and agoraphobic to the max! It feels so nice to read a book from cover to cover in a matter of a few days. I miss those summers of my childhood when I would check out 20 books at a time and read them all in four days... 

Halloween with my babies tomorrow!!!

I can't wait to see you guyssss. <3

Unfortunately, no Pokemon costumes to show (unless you have something up your sleeve, Mai-Chi), but I suppose a reunion of the unicorns + a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party complete with crappy pizza and plenty of arcading shall do the trick.

Oh right, if anyone happens to be in the South Bay with nothing to do for lunch tomorrow, we shall be at the Chuck E. Cheese (the ghetto, big one) in San Jose at around noon. I would love to see some familiar faces!

today's daily puppy is too cute for words!!!!

further proof that i need a corgi. 

I've been craving an eggs benedict ever since Kyle and I had a yummy salmon & tomato one a few weeks (a month?) ago. EVERYTHING I WANT HAS DAIRY IN IT. Oh well?

IN OTHER NEWS, I have several books coming in the mail soon, including Man Walks Into A Room by the lovely Nicole Krauss, Self Help by Lorrie Moore and a couple other things that I bought and have probably forgotten about. Hooray! Literary abandon, here I come.

GOOD MORNING, PUPPY PAJAMAS

I need to get dressed/get a life. But those pajamas! BEST TARGET PURCHASE EVERRRRR. <3

I'm in a bizarrely Halloween-y kind of mood, by which I mean that I want candy and I have the irresistible desire to watch plenty of horror films, EVEN THOUGH THEY WILL DESTROY MY SLEEP FOR YEARS. No, I did not sleep well for 2 weeks after watching The Ring. Yes, I still enjoy reading Crime Library posts on serial killers before bed until I practically wet myself. I don't know what's wrong with me.

BUT, if any of you have any suggestions for not-too-gorey/MUST WATCH horror films, feel free to drop them here. I just might be stupid enough to look them up on Netflix. I watched Paranormal Activity by myself recently and it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be! Probably because I watched it in a well-lit office in the middle of the day whilst counting campaign contributions, but ya know. Progress, progress.

In other Halloween news, the Archives of American Art blog has a post on American art inspired costumes! How silly/pretentious.

my birthday (weekend) doesn't suck so bad

1. hanging out with dugglas
2. wearing striped oversized things (my current sartorial obsession!!!)
3. the END of this campaign/seeing my bf during the short break between temporary employment and full-time employment
4. a very good chance of employment at a place i like soon ;)
5. SLEEP. and chocolate (though my lactose intolerance doesn't agree with me on that one)
6. reading "we have always lived in the castle" which is amazing and gloomy and beautifully written (THANK YOU, JAYNE)

make me an offer

:)

FAIRYTALE BROWNIES

SOGOOD.

PERFECT

this nest thing falls under the category of things i don't need but want so hard that i might as well need it. 

tis a dreary sort of day, but i have a new coat to keep me warm

3-4 hr interview + TWO (workdays) TIL ELECTION. yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!

EDIT: fuck no, i do NOT want to "stay on until the 15th." are you KIDDING ME?! i'd rather die + my "contract" (which i still have yet to see) has me working until the 5th. as soon as this shit is over ---> on the next train to davis regardless of whatever tasks need to be done 'til the 15th/what my parents say.

sigh, life is hard when you are 22 and everyone treats you like you are 12.

my little brother got me a pair of VELVET KEDS

they are like these, except navy and velvet!!!! OH LITTLE BROTHER. YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. i am so glad to have another comfy winter shoe.

andddd my parents bought me a coat and a bento box (handy!). and i have "birthday" photos of me next to the television while my dad is saying, "Get closer to the tv! WORLD SERIES." hahaha. GO GIANTS.

thank you for all the birthday wishes!

i miss and love you all, guys :). thank you so much for being in my life, and i really do hope to be able to see you all soon! IT'S SO LONG OVERDUE and i am so curious to hear about how you are all getting along/what exciting things you have been up to. send me letters and i shall send some back!!!

in other news, here is a cute monkey video:



OH MY GOD. I WANT TO RAISE LITTLE MONKEYS. WHERE CAN I GET ONE?!

Further proof that my brother's school has too much money -- they have a t-shirt cannon that was featured on Gizmodo. Seriously guys?

PENGUINS AND PAJAMAS,  aka a slumber party at the California Academy of Sciences. I WISH I WERE A CHILD BETWEEN THE AGES OF 6-17 BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE TOO MAGICAL.

death is imminent (with this doll)

22

It's a bit anticlimactic, n'est-ce pas?

I've decided that if I settle into a career and never get my MFA (I know, tragedy!), I'll just save up monies and treat myself to writer's conferences every few years. Not a bad compromise, right?

All I want to do:
1. Jog
2. Bathe
3. Sleep

feeling a bit lame b/c i don't have any plans for tomorrow

happy birthday to me? i have no friends.

"These days, Clarissa believes, you measure people first by their kindness and their capacity for devotion. You get tired, sometimes, of wit and intellect; everybody's little display of genius."

-Michael Cunningham, The Hours


A favorite book from high school that I haven't revisited in some time. Is anyone else here always wrecked at the beauty of Virginia's suicide note to Leonard? "I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been" is one of those lines that has managed to stick with me forever.

With all of the Jonathan Franzen hype in the media lately (I suppose a new book came out recently?) it dawned upon me that I don't think I've read any of his work. Any suggestions/thoughts about him? What should I start with?

things i need:

1. sweats and blankets and television
2. another season of "say yes to the dress"!!!! (guilty pleasures galore)
3. a nice book to get in bed with
4. cuddles n' kyle
5. ice cream that won't make my hands cold
6. a shower, probably (washing one's hair every other day gets... greasy)
7. something new to research -- i'm feeling stupid. maybe the french revolution?
8. pretty dresses
9. boots that don't give me blisters
10. un puppy

a tiny child singing sufjan

does your indie heart melt?

a slice of pizza my heart & subways cookies

will always make my afternoon infinitely better.

LESS THAN ONE WEEK TIL ELECTION DAY. i know i'm fixated, but can you blame me?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY

I got to sleep in until 7:30 and now I'm feeling LIVELY. I am sure work will quash that in a minute, but nonetheless, HELLO WORLD. I TURN 22 TOMORROW. 

only kanye west could have a 35 min. music video

epic. is it bad that i kind of like it?

waking up at six a.m. is brutal

'cause you never get to sleep when you think you're going to, right? SIGH. i can't wait until 10 hours from now so i can happily nap away.

in other news, yet more responses from job apps. :) yay!

going to stop by a nanowrimo meet n' greet tonight

that should be interesting.

fellow writers... unite?

fascinating and sad

a video about the aokigahara suicide forest in japan 

beaucoup des interviews to prepare for

le sigh. life is so busy and yet terribly uneventful somehow! i feel like i should be enjoying my youth/not living with my parents/not working in local politics (wtf?). i have a lovely 4 hr interview set for this friday and then a shorter interview (one would hope) for next wednesday. i wonder how long it usually takes to hear back from places after you interview? we will see, i suppose. wish me luck! i'm always caught between excitement and apprehension when it comes to interviews.

i hope to be gainfully employed soooooon! in the meantime, i hope to see my bf more, maybe start some sort of a work-out regimen, eat less candy, watch more guilty pleasure television, buy everyone christmas presents (cause you GUYS. IT'S TIME TO START. one cannot procrastinate on the christmas gifting!), interact with other people occasionally, and be a "writer." 

such goals i have. 

I am always hungry. NOM.

"Forever 21" is no longer going to apply to me in a mere three days

WHAT. how did we get old all of a sudden?!

my current favorite color (a nice salmon-y pink -- so fresh!) and my new swatch (THANKS HONEY) and another day dans le office.

tracking the growth of my hair on train rides 6 months apart

PROGRESS. thank goodness. i am not undergoing another trim until at least christmas (preferably after christmas).

Is the era of the hipster truly over? Can we really reflect back on it with such objectivity now?

"The hipster movement did not produce artists, but tattoo artists. It did not yield a great literature, but it made good use of fonts."

So academic, I love it.

sexiest rainboots ever

perrrrfect for this weather we're experiencing.

countdown to election day

FUCK YEAH. seven more (business) days to go, to go! you do not know the extent of my glee, friends.

things have been remarkably busy around the office lately, now that we are a mere 1.2 weeks away from election day! it's nice to have some foot traffic around here, for ONCE. i'm so close to election day! another agency wants me in for a 4 hour interview, oh boy. someday soon, i shall be a full-time benefited employee. how adult.

Stalking Dianna Agron. 

How could you not love this girl? Seriously?

watching sporting events is intense

me: "so if they don't win tonight..." 

my brother: "-DON'T SAY THAT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU THEY MUST WIN!!!!" 

you know you're delirious when you type into google "weekly monkey rentals" because spending a week taking care of a chimpanzee suddenly sounds like the funnest thing ever.

interview ready and so so tired

i have an interview at 3:30 (seven hours away!) and i'm sitting here brushing up on my pr knowledge (har har, right) and trying not to fall asleep onto my pb&j sandwich. nightmares involving mass murderers entering your kitchen and shooting up your entire family are certainly not cool.

i look like i'm dying. thank god i have eye serum in my bag and a donut shop located next door where i can fill up on coffee.

I'M AN ANIMAL

1. cramps suck, oh my god do they suck
2. i am slowly, oh-so-slowly chipping away at my latest story (le sigh! 7,000 words in, pas mal, n'est-ce pas?)
3. WHERE ARE MY FEMALE PAIN TIMES SNUGGLES? i miss kyle
4. interview, interview! the life of a liberal arts major post-graduation is decidedly unglamorous
5. my panda hat is da best
6. twooooo weeks til election day my friends
7. i'm officially addicted to "keeping up with the kardashians" i'm so embarrassed i can't live with myself
8. i still love you all even though i'm super cranky lately
9. it rains tomorrow! which is normally nice, but what am i to wear to an interview then?
10. "my mistress's sparrow is dead" is still my all time favorite anthology

a film about jung and freud?!

i am intrigued. 2011 release. i'm gonna be watching this one in theaters for sure. 

also, that dress? i need it. my wedding dress. i'll also look that skinny (hah). 

would the world make fun of me forever if i wore this?

probably yes, but boy do i want it.

i am sitting in the office placidly munching on all foods available to me at the moment (which is: apples, peanut butter, cheez-its, chocolate soy milk, pork buns). forgive me, blogosphere, but being menstrual SUCKS. being menstrual and ill at the same time makes me insanely cranky. watch out, watch out. in better news, i have two interviews this week, what! one on zee phone which i just wrapped up a couple hours ago (keeping my fingers totally crossed) for a position in sf, and one in-person TOMORROW for something here.

i'm extremely nervous and excited. i hope i get at least one offer!

LOLLOLOLOL

asian kids are the coolest

WISH ME LUCK WISH ME LUCK

interviews are scary, eek.

it gets better, from the employees at google :)

this cracks me up

get crackin'

and make it happen! this is a very exciting time in my life. i just have to remind myself of that and stay positive. :) despite the illness, the horrifically mind-numbing job, the parental control (hah, wasn't that an mtv show?), the trials and tribulations of a long distance relationship and the lack of a social life, at least i can say that things cannot get much worse than they are.

AND i'm a very lucky girl and i've got a lot to look forward to and a lot of people who have been very kind and supportive and omnipresent in my life. NOW TO EDIT MAX & CASS. we will get this shit published :D.

WORKDAY FEVER, I SHALL CONQUER YOU

this movie seems right up my ally

beautiful girls with beautiful pastimes and dark dark secrets. someone watch it with me! release date, dec. 3.

ps: love the poster.

this is stupid

but watching the kardashian sisters makes me miss having close female friends around/living in my house :(. YOU GUYS. I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

i am eating cookies from subway to alleviate my abject sorrow. also i am sitting in an office surrounded by hundreds of lawn signs. what has my life come to?

I'm sitting at home in bed, swathed in three blankets and simultaneously freezing and sweating and watching "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"

YOU GUYS. I THINK I'M DYING.

fifi lapin is so fancy

cry cry cry

now "working from home"

aka i'm going to take a goddamn nap.

life sucks

and so does the flu. i've been sitting on the bathroom floor covered in my own vomit and shivering for the past hour, what's up! I'M LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF AN EXORCISM MOVIE. how appealing.

in the mail

come soon, plz!

i'm going to freeze to death tonight

how atrocious. sweet dreams, world. ugh.

"Love drains from you, takes with it much of your blood sugar and water weight. you are like a house slowly losing its electricity, the fans slowing, the lights dimming and flickering; the clocks stop and go and stop."

-How to Be an Other Woman 


Lorrie Moore is a wonderful writer. I just reread How to Become a Writer as well and that one's just very funny in its portrayal of college-level pretensions when it comes to writing. Hitting a little close to home, perhaps? Oh, who am I kidding, I totally miss those workshop classes :(  

rainy day with mai-chi

say hello to my new buddy, the moose!

in order of appearance:

RAIN
beer
garlic fries and other noms
coloring
balloon animals
face paint
arts & crafts
the movies
gelato

<3

i need to get a sturdier umbrella, as much as i do love my flimsy h&m polka-dotted and ruffled umbrella.

so far, i've had a rather pleasant weekend. low key, but that's for the best when i've been dealing with work stress/interview stress/all that good stuff. i've been able to sleep, eat (kind of, we're running low on the groceries here), write (hooray for productivity!), and just relaxxxx altogether. i turn 22 in eleven days! that's such an odd notion. i feel like i'm 15 still.

birthdays get less exciting as you grow older, i think.

WINTER WEAR, FINALLY.

hooray! thank goodness. now i can sit around and mope/pine/write/drink hot chocolate (soy) milk in oversized tunics and sweatpants foreverrrrr.

writing fiction on a cold rainy morning while huddled in quilts

ooooh, perfection.

when i have my own place...

what a self-indulgent writer purchase huh?

WHATTTT

weekend thus far:

1. making cheesy biscuits, eating one.
2. bein' comfy.
3. watching a movie on netflix ("the secret of kells" - the animation is so cute!!!!) with kyle (via teh internetz).
4. capitola avec les parents. car sicknessssss. walk walk, starts to drizzle, go home.
5. internet. internet. eat some cheez-its. STARVE.
6. start writing.
7. WHERE'S DINNER?!

now i'm a bunny.

one of my favorite stars songs

i want to watch eternal sunshine now!!!!

HEHEHEHEH

It's a BISCUIT. Which reminds me -- I'm getting a real craving for cheesy biscuits. Like, of the Red Lobster variety.

oui!

This cup is too cute, esp the little teapot button to keep your teabag string in place. On my list of fall/winter purchases, perhaps! 

tempting...

The bright colors + toys fanatic in me says YES, A PARACHUTE MEN TOY RIBBON NECKLACE is everything I want in a trendy accessory. The college graduate in me says -- huh. Maybe not. Screams hipster and/or delayed development. 

I LOVE the colors though, sigh. Maybe just that ribbon with something simple tied at the end, like a silver charm on a string. 

“My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. My pleasures are the most intense known to man: writing and butterfly hunting.”

-Vladimir Nabokov 






Vlad is too cool for school. 

I WILL OWN YOU

when i can justify it. sigh. maybe when i land a real job! i'll buy myself congratulatory things with my grown-up (hah, right) salary.

two weeks exactly til 22.

SIGH, you guys. i'm getting old.

PLAYLIST CREATED. OPEN DOCUMENT.

writing is fun. my goals for this week(end):

1 chapitre of gen & darcy posted by sunday night.

2,000 words of my current story written (eek!).

reading, reading, reading. i must be more disciplined with finishing new literature.

work, phone interview, in-person interview, optometry appointment, dinner...?, watercoloring class, rest or run?, vidchats, SLEEP. 

today is a busy day. 

i'm burned out by it already. 

I haven't watched many of the videos posted for the "It Gets Better" project in which people are encouraged to record videos urging teenagers that life/bullying does in fact get better after high school. Some of them are very moving and emotional and frank. This one by Tim Gunn in particular got to me because it's odd to see him as a real person. He seems so... private, and so like a character that it's strange to see a bit of that stoicism break down.




In any event, I think this is a commendable project and that many people are doing their best to reach out. <3

Once upon a time I was a 16-year-old girl and kind of a terrible writer.

Here's the proof. 

I can't believe that was six long years ago! It doesn't seem like my teenage years were that distant. How bizarre. Time is just rushing past. I feel OLD.

TAKE A LOOK. IT'S IN A BOOK.

I miss having my own place :(

pout pout pout

I am a lazy bag person

I'm not the type of person to own many bags that I switch out often -- l just want something neutral and big enough so I can throw all my crap into it. I just ordered this Baggu bag and I'm so excited for it to arrive in the mail! I've been stalking Baggu for a while (look at that simplicity), so that will be exciting...

and it will be a nice change of pace from my red backpack (which I've had since high school) and my ridiculous grocery tote bag. Yes. I carry that about in public quite often. It's big and comfy.

I just passed by baby twins in a stroller and a tiny dachshund puppy while walking to work

AAAAAH TOO MUCH CUTE IN ONE ENCOUNTER.

I am pleased. Now I am going to read the newest installment of Gen & Darcy (Kristencakes, you are so wondrous!), sip on my coffee with soy, hunt for more jobs (because I WILL prevail and find a full-time position somewhere), miss Kyle terribly, and, you guessed it, eat Cheez-Its for breakfast.

I will also whittle away at my various writing projs, including Darcy and a "story" that (dare I say it?) might be turning into a novel... 5000 WORDS. TOO EARLY TO TELL.

PS: Pardonne if I sound insane. It's the coffee, I swear.  

cold weather, PLZ

highs of 91 today, WHAT.

i'm finally interviewing for something vaguely interesting! how excitinggggg wish me luck! i shall be reading up on all sorts of pr related things before next thursday :).

although, really. how is it that the further i try to get away from home, the closer the job offers get? really? i just google mapped this place. ONE POINT TWO MILES AWAY?! oh my god, that will take me like, ten minutes to bike on a bad day.

4,000 words into a new story

progress, oh progress!

<3

i want this lamp!

job hunting blows

Why can't I just write short stories and novels for a living?!!!!